Go Coach Yourself!

The Plant Analogy

• Ryan Reichert-Estes, CPCC and Vic Smith, CPCC • Season 1 • Episode 20

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In this episode of Go Coach Yourself! hosts Vic and Ryan use the plant analogy to explore self-care. They discuss essential concepts like 'watering' yourself (finding what energizes you), 'pruning' (removing what's no longer serving you), blooming where you're planted (making the best of your current situation), seeking 'sunshine' (finding joy), and repotting (embracing growth and change). They offer practical insights and reflective questions to help listeners apply these plant care principles to personal development and self-fulfillment.

References:

This links to the following episodes:

Hosts:

Ryan Reichert-Estes, StackRise Coaching | LinkedIn | Insta: @stackrisecoaching

Vic Smith, WhistleSmith.co | LinkedIn | Insta: @vic_bk

Vic:

Hey Ryan,

Ryan:

Yeah.

Vic:

how are you at keeping houseplants alive?

Ryan:

Hmm. Well, that depends on what kind of plant it is and where it is.

Vic:

Hmm.

Ryan:

What about you?

Vic:

Considering today's topic, I don't want to answer that.

Ryan:

Why not?

Vic:

You'll see.

Ryan:

Poor plans.

Vic:

Poor plants.

Ryan:

Welcome to another episode of Go Coach Yourself, a podcast to help you get unfucked and build the incredible life you deserve. We're Vic and Ryan, two certified coaches trying to change the world one conversation at a time. So Vic, what's up? What is it that we're talking about today? The

Vic:

We are talking about the plant analogy.

Ryan:

the plant analogy sounds interesting. However, I'm going to need a little bit more than that.

Vic:

Yeah. So today we're going to use a plant as an analogy for self care.

Ryan:

Oh, okay. This should be pretty good.

Vic:

It is, but Before we go any further, we're going to have to ask you, dear listeners, to go on a journey with us today. We're talking about self care through the lens Of a plant. Our friend, Brian, he's going to be so happy.

Ryan:

Yeah. Yeah, he is. He is. And also, sorry, Brian. Like if this

Vic:

Yeah.

Ryan:

somehow anyway, if there's anything wrong, like just forgive us in advance. Like,

Vic:

Cue to Brian switching this podcast off.

Ryan:

yeah, yeah. OkaY. So where do we begin?

Vic:

I don't know, like back in February I made an Instagram post on my Whistlesmith account and I had this idea that humans are like plants and whilst Plants come with care instructions specific to that plant. Humans don't. And yet, we need taking care of in much the same way. And so, we are gonna dig into that analogy today.

Ryan:

Okay. Awesome. So, I mean, I love analogies and I want to go all the way with this. So I think we need to start with figuring out what kind of plant you would be. Are you an indoor plant, outdoor plant? do you have flowers? what do you think?

Vic:

That's so hard! I'm literally thinking of all the plants that I own, or have owned. Okay, this is interesting and I'm thinking again of our friend Brian and I can imagine him having an amazing answer here you go, what about you?

Ryan:

Okay. So I didn't actually. Think that that was required, but it was a little fun to watch that whole, like process of wondering. And I have to tell you, I'm, probably the same that like sense of pure panic is definitely, what I would feel too. Like, I think that's tough. It really depends on what my mood is or what the day is. but that would be a really good team icebreaker for people to get deeper into discussion. Like what kind of plant are you and why?

Vic:

Oh, see we're not only a go coach yourself pod, also giving you exercises to do with your team. Oh my word. Okay, getting started for real though. There are some great basic principles to this. And so let's lay them out and then we can go deeper one by one.

Ryan:

Great. Yeah. And this, this is a really good one. So there are many things that plants need to survive and thrive, such as water,

Vic:

A regular pruning,

Ryan:

the right spot to bloom

Vic:

sunlight.

Ryan:

and every now and then being repotted when needed.

Vic:

Yes. All right, let's start with water. So plants need water to survive and like every one of them needs a different amount of water on a different cadence and sometimes that even varies depending on the season or the time of the year. And so what is your water? Think about what fills your bucket. What's the investment you're making in yourself to keep growing for your body, for your mind, for your spirit. And this should be related to your purpose and values. And we've got episodes on both of those, so go and check those out. We've got a purpose episode and a values episode. But this is about what brings you energy, what is so intrinsic to you thriving in this world. And it's going to be a combination of things. And so, for example, it might be related to diet, working out, getting the right rest. It might be a hobby that brings in some cash on the side. Uh, could be the pursuit of learning or getting qualified in something. Whatever it is, you just need to determine how much of it you need to survive. And then add a little bit more so you can thrive. And if you are unsure what this is, so if you're sat here thinking, oh, I don't, I don't know what that is, I don't know what, what it is that fills my bucket or brings me energy. Take a little time to reflect and think about the following questions. What's that thing you can start, get lost in for hours and not care where the time went?. When you're feeling tired, what's the thing that you can do and it restores your energy? What is the thing that the minute you finish it, you wish you had more time to do it again? What's the thing you keep coming back to time and time again? And then another one to consider here is what is it that makes your heart dance?

Ryan:

That's just a fun list of questions. Like just have fun with those at the very least, you know, and I'm, I'm prompted to take the analogy a little further here by. Noting that when plants don't get water, their leaves get shriveled and, you know, they can get a little gnarly looking. Are you watering your plants frequently enough? Are you watering yourself frequently enough in the ways that these questions are asking? Is there enough of the thing that fills your bucket in your life? And I really loved that you pointed out, like, add just a little bit more. Because think you're hinting at the fact there that all of us by default might shortchange ourselves just a little bit.

Vic:

percent yes. So I love how you're totally getting into this with me now. I love that.

Ryan:

Oh, I'm, I am in it. Uh, Christopher, has a small house plant jungle in the recording space that I sit in. So, I mean, there are plants all around and I'm literally just imagining him and Doing the things that we're talking about to all of these plants. Um, and so just the other day he was actually doing some pruning. And so I think we should talk about that one next.

Vic:

Yes.

Ryan:

All right. So plants need to be pruned in order to help them grow, some more than others. And so some you'll only do once a year. Some are going to need it on a more regular basis. You just have to like futz around and figure out what's right for them. clear away dead leaves or any debris. That's around the plants. And when we think about this applied to humans, you know, this might be something like getting rid of possessions that no longer serve you or that you no longer need. Uh, it might be moving on from relationships or people that no longer align with your growth. And, you said in a previous pod, I think it was the one about how to know your people. That some people come into your life for a reason. a season or a lifetime. I really liked that.

Vic:

Mm,

Ryan:

for ourselves. When we prune appropriately, we can start to recognize the people that have maybe fulfilled their reason or outlived their season. And we can let go of those things that no longer serve us. And that's okay. It's totally okay. Uh, in the same vein that you shared with the water analogy, here are some questions for you to reflect on as to thinking about what or who is no longer serving you. Who is draining your energy every time you see them? Who do you dread seeing so much that you keep putting it off? What things do you have that are weighing you down? What items, like clOthes, books, etc., do you often find yourself avoiding?

Vic:

Yeah. I love those questions. And there's like a radical thought here. Imagine you are a rosebush. Those things get pruned right back at least once a year, and then they grow back stronger.

Ryan:

Yeah, and I think that's entirely the point here. And that's, such a good continuation of that. That pruning allows for better growth, and getting rid of the things that we don't need anymore, saying goodbye to people that are no longer adding to our lives. Positive things to our lives, you know, that's what allows us more space and time and energy to have more growth. You know, we make room for new things, whether that be experiences, new people, even materialistic, it's okay, like new items that bring us joy. There's just, there's just more room

Vic:

Mm. I love that. I love this idea that you take away to make space for more growth. All right. The next thing I want to talk about is how plants the best they can with the conditions they're given. And so a house plant will grow as best as it can in the shade or as best as it can in direct sun on the window ledge. The plant in the garden will grow as best as it can in the shade of that tree or in the full sun. And so this concept of bloom where you are planted. Do the best that you can, wherever you find yourself. Approach the world with gratitude for what you have. If you're a plant, that might be sun on your leaves, might be the shade on your soil. But do the best work of your life every day, with what you have around you. And for sure, focus on a better spot in the house or the garden. focus on whatever that next thing is. that you want to achieve, but be so freaking good at what you do now, where you are now, that it becomes inevitable that you would be given a better spot.

Ryan:

Totally appreciate some of the things that you're saying in here. And I, I do have some different ways of thinking about this that I want to talk about, but first, what I hear in what you just shared was this idea of like, You know, being present and not always worrying about what the next thing is or what the next like milestone is. And as you put it, growing in place or maybe, you know, finding the best that you can where you are before getting there and like being present for that. Is that fair?

Vic:

Yeah. I think that is fair. And what I'm getting at here is, you know, as a manager and as a leader, I've come across a lot of people who,, are in a job and they're focused on the next job. Like this is the next job that I want. And they're so focused on it. They're not doing the the job they're hired for, and so I, I can't see what your skill set is. I can't see how good you are. I can't see how appropriate that next role is for you or even what the gap is between where you are now and where that is because you're so focused on it. I had a conversation with, with somebody last week who is applying for a job in an organization. And they said to me, you know, I'm applying for this job, but I think within a year I'll be in this other job that this organization has. And I'm thinking, so you don't want the job that you're applying for, you're seeing it as a stepping stone. And I actually said that and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to get in there and I'm just going to start doing that with the job. And I was like, okay, how, how might that impact. Your leader's ability to be able to assess your performance, assess your talent, assess your potential. Um, so I, I think there's something there.

Ryan:

For sure, for sure. Bringing it back to the planting thing, the, that makes me think back to the garden that we used to have and how,, we did our best to always plant things where they were going to do the best. But sometimes it was kind of like, okay, are the radishes going to do better here? Or are they going to do better over here where it's a little cooler? And so it's like, yeah, you, you have to see what it does. In a certain place to understand, okay, here's how it grew to, to your point, to understand the gap or the difference. Like what are the changes that you need to make? I love that there that you are signaling that people can actually show others around them, like how to help support them in new ways. by thinking about blooming where you are in that sense.

Vic:

mm, yeah. we have this, pilea. other people might call it, a Chinese money plant and, we bought it at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden when my parents were here, I don't know, like 18 months ago. And this thing is huge now. It's massive. And at one point it became these three stalks and I separated them into, three different pots and I was like, I'm just going to grow these, you know, kind of separately. What's delightful about it is that I've put all three of them in a different place and they've all fared differently. and what I realized was if I just rotate the three of them, because they can't all live in the one spot, right? But if I rotate the three of them, they're the same plant. They came from the same original plant and yet they fared differently in the different surroundings. and I, and I think that humans are like that. You know, we can look the same. We can seem like we came from the, from the same, but our experience has a show up in that place where we're planted in a different way.

Ryan:

Oh, I like that a lot. That's a lot of fun. Hmm. So there's, another like lens to this, I think. And again, I love plants and some plans will literally take hold wherever they are. You know, we have a couple of interesting examples at home. they'll just use whatever's around, whatever conditions they're in. They just set roots down and everything. one example is like we're in the historic neighborhood within our city. And so the houses here are 125 plus years old. Like they're old, they're colorful, but like there's lots of cracks and stuff like that. And there's a house across the street where there's a big crack in the face of And every, we've been here two summers now. And both summers there's just been this really cool little flowering like thing that catches there. And I don't know if it's, if it's from seeds or if it's reseeding itself, but it just grows out of this crack and astonishes me in the way that, you know, beauty like that can actually find place just about anywhere. And it makes me like, I think there are people like that too,, any place that they're put, they can just take hold and thrive. as people, it's important for us to actually understand the environment around us to know if, is it going to be a place that we can thrive or, and be our best selves, or is it someplace that's going to be harder for us and cause us to struggle? So getting clear on what kind of space and conditions and, experiences you need to thrive feels really important here. At times you might feel like that houseplant that's stretching out for the sun that it can't quite get and reaching for it., those times are inevitable. I think we can't control all parts of our lives. Um, but I think that also helps us to find the space where we can. Things could be better and to understand what we need and, you know, sometimes how to ask for that in new ways.

Vic:

Yeah. I, I love that because I think sometimes I was about to say sometimes, but I actually think oftentimes is the case. We're not in control of every single little thing in our life. and there are things that we have to weather, we have to find a way through and you know, I'm sure that you and I have examples of that. I'm pretty sure our listeners will wear. You wish it was different, but it isn't. And you've gotta kind of grit through this thing, to get to the other side. How do you make the most of that? How do you come out the other side, you know, having learned something and thriving?

Ryan:

for sure. For sure. Nice. I love that one. And I love that we've got different points of view on it and I Is a little more complex than just Ha ha ha ha ha Grow flowers okay Let's move on to our next one, is that good?

Vic:

Yeah, let's do it.

Ryan:

So, let's talk about sunshine All plants need sunshine Some need a lot of it, some don't need that much, and in the same way, we need sunshine Which I like to think of in this space as joy So how do we chase and get more joy? This might seem similar to the water example that we shared earlier. However, it's not. And there are some distinct differences. This is the thing that makes you stop and smile. It's the small things in life. That bring you this jolt of intense emotion and give you the tingles right then and there. This is also different from the sustained feeling of happiness over time. It might be a beautiful flower, watching a balloon float across the sky. Seeing fireworks or a rainbow. There's a woman by the name of Ingrid Fettel Lee, who's done work in this space that is really fun. And she's got a great TED Talk, uh, that we'll link to in the show notes. She discusses the concept of joy here, and the differences between joy and happiness. She does this through the lens of design, which is the field she studied, and talks about the aesthetics of joy. And I think that this shows that joy takes many different forms. She has a great download that you can grab,, on 50 ways to find more joy in your life. we'll also link to that on her website in the show notes. So as we think about this in that way, Vic and I know you've watched that TED Talk as well. What is your sunshine? Like, where do you find joy?

Vic:

Mmm. You know, for me, this is It's in connections with others. And so whether that's like a full on conversation, getting into the deep stuff or the eye contact and the intentional smile while I'm getting my chai latte, I get great joy from giving a smile and getting one in return. And you know, some days I dial that up and I will smile at everyone and, for every hundred smiles that I stick out there, I might just get 80 back, but that's like 80 little jolts of joy. And, uh, that's, that's where it's coming from, from me.

Ryan:

Nice. I love that. And I, I can really tell that like about you as a person. I see you light up when you make it possible for other people to light up. It's just really cool to see that energy connection., and I know that connecting with you, as a person is also important. Just full of joy. It's one of the reasons that I wanted to do this podcast because we have conversations sometimes and we find ourselves just laughing and I'm like, I want more of that.

Vic:

Ha, ha, ha, ha, yes.

Ryan:

I was actually talking to a friend,, you don't know her yet. Her name is Tanya, but I need to introduce the two of you. And I was telling her about how you're one of the primary people in my life that I think about just as a literal definition for like happiness and joy. And. I just love that that's how you show up. And I love that, you know, I get to have you around, as somebody that I can, I can look to for that as well. Of

Vic:

Oh, thank you. That is like, oh, that's so lovely. Thank you.

Ryan:

of course.

Vic:

Tell me about you. Tell me about your joy. Where are you finding the sunshine and joy?

Ryan:

Yeah. So For me, uh, as our listeners will hopefully watch the TED talk that Ingrid did, I found a great deal of satisfaction in some of the things that, that she talks about through the work that she does. Because for me, it's in that place of like noticing those little things. And that's something that I know that they focus on is like joy is in the small things. And so, you know, when I think about this, it's the things that we often take for granted. Or. Don't slow down enough to actually get close to and to, to pay attention to. Um, and so like, if you scroll through my iPhone album, you'll see, I take a lot of pictures of plants and flowers, like really close up because I just, I love the little details that you can't see unless you're getting really close. You know, I sit up here in our attic space, watching the Swifts fly around the city in the evening, which is amazing finding little details. In architecture, as I explore new places, you know, even just something as, as simple as enjoying some wine, but then noticing the flavor that it's left in my mouth, like long after finishing it. It's just those little things, I think, uh, that give me a lot of pleasure and, bring me joy.

Vic:

my gosh, I love that. And I don't think I have appreciated up to this point, this,, focus on the details and the things that we take for granted. that's just a new discovery about you. And I love that.

Ryan:

Hmm. Happy to share.

Vic:

I imagine that this like looks different for every person. And I imagine the amount that we need to keep us going. Each day looks different too. And so, my question to our listeners is what is your joy and how much of it are you finding? Okay. So the last one here is re pot when needed. And so recognize that you can outgrow your pot. You can become too large for that section of the garden. It's not a bad thing. It can be great. It means you get a new spot with more room to reorientate and to grow again. This is about thinking big. You know, sometimes you do outgrow things. You outgrow a place, you outgrow a job, a house, you outgrow a relationship. And you have to recognize that space is no longer contributing to your growth. And you have to move on. Find a better place, a bigger job, a different house, a more healthy relationship, go somewhere else and continue to grow. You know, I've, I've lost count of the amount of times people have stayed somewhere because it's safe or familiar. Because they're scared or they didn't know their worth. And to continue the analogy, some plants are repotted and they don't grow for a little while because they're getting used to their new surroundings. This does happen, but it's not a reason not to move. I would encourage you to move and to, even with that fear, do it anyway. I

Ryan:

agree. As, as coaches, I think this is something that we often will find with clients. And, for me it's like asking that question, like what's in your way or what's stopping you from moving forward or getting that next thing. A lot of the times, when people talk about this, the, one of the things that comes up is they get stuck because they don't want to make other people uncomfortable or they don't want to change. Because how it's going to reflect on them or the approval that they look for from other people. And I think about the idea that part of leaning into change that's going to help you grow is about discomfort. It's, you know, about feeling uncomfortable yourself, making others feel a little uncomfortable. That's okay. And if they experience it, that's okay too. But if we pull back because of that discomfort, we end up not moving and not changing. So. When we're coaching people it's important for us to help our clients find strength. That's going to ultimately give them more of what they need so that they can embrace that change in a way that feels powerful, for them and in a way that helps them to grow. And then through the process we might zoom in on something that's going on today. So I think of like, What's the soil you're in right now? What are the weather conditions you're in today? Like what's happening on the ground. But then as a coach, we're always helping them to connect those little like microclimate moments back to the bigger picture and bringing it back to the bigger idea that they want to pursue. for their fulfillment. So it's like, okay, that's what's on the ground today. But then what's important about that to the garden that you're attending or the forest that you're in, you know, for the big picture, that'll ultimately give our clients more satisfaction and fulfillment in their lives.

Vic:

love that. And I think that one of the things I love about the coaching relationship is that we hold that often on behalf of the clients., Because sometimes they get into the day to day and it's hard for them to pull up and see it. You know, as I was thinking about this, episode and this idea of, we've not done this idea of an analogy before, but I came across this Japanese idiom and it's obitori. Or obetore, bear with me on the pronunciation, but it comes from the kanji of the four trees that bloom in the spring, the cherry blossom, the plum, the peach, and the apricot. And the flowers on these trees bloom in their own time. And the meaning behind this idiom is that we all grow and bloom at our own pace. And the deeper meaning here is that. Everyone has their own journey through life and we should focus on our growth and what it means to us and not compare ourselves to others. We should celebrate our individuality and our uniqueness and not get caught up in anybody else's journey, anybody else's growth. Is it better or worse than ours?

Ryan:

Hmm. I love, uh, I love the symbolism there for sure. And then, you know, as somebody who loves wine, I'm like reflecting on the fact that, okay, those four fruits all have like, they're all stone fruits. They've all got hard pits. So there's something that connects them. But they all give like different characteristics, whether you're talking about the fruit itself or like how it might come across, like when you're smelling and tasting wine they're sour, they're sweet, there's like different textures, like the really soft, like squishiness of a peach when it's super ripe and like the hard bite of a tangerine or a nectarine rather, like when it's fresh. So I love the, Symbolism and idea that there are all these things that they bring to the collective while being, very different. So I think that's a, that's a fun metaphor to carry this forward.

Vic:

Oh, I love that. Yeah. And I also love how you've just brought that back to wine.

Ryan:

Wine and plants.

Vic:

Okay, let's wrap up the plant analogy with a quick shout out to our friend Brian who would, without a doubt, be able to add at least six more steps to this analogy. Here are the care instructions if humans were plants. Water frequently. Work out what fills your bucket. What is the thing that feeds your mind, body, and spirit? And make sure there's enough of it in your life.

Ryan:

Second prune appropriately. Take time to review your life, get rid of people or things that are no longer serving you. This makes space for growth.

Vic:

Bloom where you are planted. Be grateful for what you have. Do your best work every day. And make the very best that you can of the context and situation you're in.

Ryan:

Seek out sunshine. What brings you joy, and how can you get more of it? Spend some time thinking about what it is for you. And then seek it out.

Vic:

And finally, Repot when needed. Think big. Don't be afraid of outgrowing something. It's a fact of life. Take action. Move. Do something about it. Continue growing.

Ryan:

So that's us and our take on the care instructions. If humans were plants, this was a lot of fun, by the way, and I hope we have more analogy based episodes in the future. And I can say that we hope that all of you listening have also found some value here. And we'll take that and share it with the fellow plant lover in your life. We're Ryan and Vic, and thanks for joining us on go coach yourself.

Vic:

Let's make like a tree. And leaf.

Ryan:

Awesome. And we're going to celebrate cause it's fall y'all.

Vic:

So good. Fall, y'all.

People on this episode

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Ryan Reichert-Estes, CPCC

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Vic Smith, CPCC

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